Looking Forward

Sadness fills the eyes,Of the child in the photograph

As the eyes in the mirror watch,

With unblinking glazed regret.

Noting times that should have been.

Silent pools of remorse 

Search into the night.

The beautiful night

Of secret hiding places

Noting times that could have been.

Escaping the red rage that spewed forth,

Unbridled brutal anger

Encompassing and engulfing all that came near.

Brutally blocking each step of the way; 

Impeding all that should have been. 

Sadness fills the eyes that look out,

Emptying sadness from inside my head,

Emptying all self-condemnation…

Growing towards what should have been.

2 thoughts on “Looking Forward

  1. Lea July 29, 2016 / 10:34 am

    My beautiful sister. ‘This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.’

    I wrote this in 2003 – not sure if I’ve ever shown you..

    Jules.
    Large, brown eyes popped over the rail
    of the old, double-decker bed
    I gazed at her from under a scruffy fringe
    as the beautiful one got up to dress

    She’d been reading .. one of a hundred books
    that sat, stacked in bundles
    always threatening to topple – and always did!

    But now, she needed to run
    and I knew she’d take me, and I watched with glee
    as she swapped her brown, batik skirt for shorts

    She is my queen, my saviour, my one hope.
    She brought to me, books, paintings and stars to get lost in
    Beauty in trust and patience in love

    She shouldered the burden that comes to the one
    who comes first into the world
    Dreams she had
    Her head in clouds and we all watched in awe
    as she unfurled…

    For a time, she was lost
    I thought she’d disappear
    But now, she shines
    for we all have to journey – long and hard
    and though we’ve had our share of knocks
    We sisters 3 have endured, with our Jules
    at the helm.. never faltering .. full hearts .. ever burdened with
    life..

    Lea xxx

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